 | Your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do. |
| You've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes. |
| You've ever driven around looking for discards that can be used for set
pieces. |
| You can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in
ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is. |
| You have an account at the local St Vincent de Paul. |
| You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show |
| You've worked your holiday time to coincide with technical/set up week. |
| You've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker. |
| Your family is more than 50% of the staff. |
| You've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with sellotape |
| You've ever appeared in a show where the cast out -numbered the audience 2
to 1. |
| You've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for
auditions. |
| You've ever gotten a part because you were the only Male who showed up for
auditions. |
| The audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw
you in the last six productions. |
| You've ever menaced/threatened anyone with a gun held together with
electrical tape. |
| You've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening
gown and heels. |
| You've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening
gown and heels -- and you're a guy. |
| You've ever played the father of someone your father's age. |
| Your kids/family know your rehearsal schedule better than you do. |
| Your kids/family know your lines better than you do. |
| Your kids/family deliver your lines better than you do. |
| You've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window
without opening it first. |
| You actually know the difference between Good Shakespeare and BAD
Shakespeare, and have tried to explain the difference. |
| You've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was really
drunk. |
| The lead vocalist complains that the music keeps changing tempos, but the
fact is the music is on a tape/cd |
| You've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to. |
| You've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say "Just
paint it black -- no one will ever see it." |
| You've appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect. |
| The set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the
stage because the floor's still wet -- five minutes before curtain. |
| You've ever been told that the reason your director has no eyebrows is
because he/she handled special effects for the last show. |
| You've ever said "Don't worry -- use Gaffa tape and if that doesn't
work, we'll just superglue it." |
| If you have the deep need to forward this to more than 5 people who would
TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THIS. |
