Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader!.......

   A one... two.... A one.. two.. three..four...

	[piano intro]

   Half a bee, philosophically, must, ipso facto, half not be.
   But half the bee
   has got to be,
   vis a vis
   its entity - do you see?

   But can a bee
   be said to be
   or not to be
   an entire bee
   when half the bee
   is not a bee
   due to some ancient injury?

   Singing...

   La dee dee, 1 2 3,
   Eric the half a bee.
   A B C D E F G,
   Eric the half a bee.

   Is this retched demi-bee,
   half asleep upon my knee,
   some freak from a menagerie?
   No! It's Eric the half a bee.

   Fiddle dee dum,
   Fiddle dee dee,
   Eric the half bee.

   Ho ho ho,
   Tee hee hee,
   Eric the half a bee.

   I love this hive employee-ee-ee	[with buzzing in background]
   bisected accidentally
   one summer afternoon by me
   I love him carnally.

   He loves him carnally...		[together]
   ...semi-carnally

	[spoken]

   The end

   "Cyril Connelly?"
   No!  "Semi-carnally"
   Oh!

   Cyril Connelly			[sung softly and slowly]